“good morning love”

       Growing up I remember how important greetings were in my family home. In fact those were the few words & phrases I was taught in my mother tongue. Good morning, please, thank you, good night, and have a good meal, are just a few of the catch phrases that littered my daily experiences outside of amen & hallelujah that is. I guess back then there was sort of an on demand element to it all, because well manner, polite, respectful children uttered such niceties to their elders. But now I believe there was a lot more to it.       

        When I think back to that time I remember the moments my parents were away on business or when I slept away and wasn’t greeted by those familial and familiar voices pregnant with limitless love for me. The days I missed being woken up with a kiss or a bang in the door depending on how fast I went to sleep the night before. I realise that there is so much education embedded in those simple daily rituals. They reinforce the idea that we are connected to one another. That we come from somewhere & that at the end of the day no matter what muck & mire we encounter in the world there is a place we can return to and be cradled.
        Today, while talking to an older friend I happened to let it slip that I was a little tired. Upon further inquiry, I revealed to her that I’ve been waking up much earlier than usual to say good morning to a womyn I hope to eventually date. Even though I had the experience of multiple good mornings from my parents & siblings when I was younger, I didn’t really realise how powerful a simple “good morning” could really be until recently. I was dating a different womyn, and within a few days of that experience I realised that she’d always text me first thing in her day. Sometimes the message would be just as simple as “good morning” or a little more elaborate and playful. Despite that interaction ending on a rather sour note, I’ll never forget how powerful those morning messages were. One simply cannot underestimate the transformative power of knowing you are cared about beyond the bonds of family & friendship.

What I found particularly significant about that experience was that even the mornings that followed an evening of difficult conversation or strife I still got a “good morning” message. I now understand those messages as an opportunity to start afresh. Above all, those daily messages were a reaffirmation of my importance to her at that time. I think beyond a lot of the physical intimacy that comes with being attached to someone what I miss most is the emotional intimacy. The confidence that comes with knowing that someone carries you in his or her heart like that penny that takes residence at the bottom of your everyday purse or case. And I guess this is partly why each time I meet someone new I face her with the zeal & excitement of a first timer. The possibility of building a new alliance, of developing new affinities is so thrilling. So this time around I’m the one waking up at the crack of dawn despite the fact that my day starts later to say, ” good morning, have a great day” because I realise that just that simple greeting & gesture carries so much power & love.

from my heart to yours…

<3 lobuhle :-)

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